- Become your own best friend: If you want to see yourself clearly, just step into the shoes of your closest friends. What do they see when they look at you? Probably not the things you complain about, but all the things that keep them coming back for more of your company: Your easy laugh. Your compassionate ear. Your sound advice. Your fun-loving spirit. Get very clear on what it is about you that draws people in. Then spend your time contemplating that idyllic image.
- Only have eyes for you: The grass is always greener on the other side, except when you are in love. When you are losing your head over Jim, you don’t stop to think, “Gee, Jim is great, but I wish his name were George…” Instead, you believe you have found the best of all possible worlds because of the connection you’ve forged. That is how I want you to feel good about yourself. Connected. I want you to stop comparing yourself with the Miss Thangs with their flat bellies and endless legs, and start admiring yourself for your great smile, smooth skin and hopeful outlook.
Source: Love Smart by Dr. Phil McGraw, 2005, p.57
“But the most exciting, challenging and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself. And if you find someone to love the you that you love, well, that’s just fabulous”—Carrie Bradshaw, Sex and the City
Getting Free of Self-Importance Is The Key To Happiness
At TEDxMiddlebury 2013 Polly Young-Eisendrath discusses the idea that we can control and manage our lives as counter to our happiness. After considering the true meaning of happiness, Polly highlights several uniquely human emotions—shame, guilt, envy, and jealousy—that pose as obstacles to this happiness and offers solutions to overcome these emotions. Polly Young-Eisendrath is a speaker, writer, Jungian analyst and mindfulness teacher. She is a long-time practitioner of Zen Buddhism and Vipassana in the tradition of Shinzen Young. She is also Clinical Associate Professor of Psychiatry at the University of Vermont and in independent clinical practice in central Vermont. Her 14 published books have been translated into more than 20 languages, including “The Self-Esteem Trap,” “The Resilient Spirit,” and “Women and Desire”.